Corking the Bottle

This probably is my last blog post until October 1. I leave early tomorrow to visit my daughter in Colorado. I hope you will then tune in to corkingthebottle.blogspot.com again. Stay sober, one day at a time. I thank the Lord my mom was no drinker, so the lyrics below don't apply to her. Most of those apply to me, however; they're the things my wife sadly said to me. I share this with you because I think it is on the mark -- and I don't mean Makers Mark! Cosmo Jarvis - Mummy's Been Drinking http://www.songlyrics.com/cosmo-jarvis/mummys-been-drinking-lyrics/ Mummy's been drinking, Mummy's been drinking, Mummy's been drinking, Drinking again. Mummy's been drinking, Mummy's been drinking, Mummy's been drinking, Go tell a friend. Now I can see every one of your flaws, All of the things I could not see before. You come in stinking and slurring your words, You don't stop talking and ironing shirts. Wh

With this post, I conclude a series that I hope will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. For me, I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). His research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpatient counseling; They had eventually relapsed to drinking despite 1-3. Symptoms and Warning  Signs of Relapse Phase 11 .  Alcohol and drug use. During this phase, you return to alcohol and drug use, try to control it, l

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and ou

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outp

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terrance T. Gorski, co-author of Staying Sober, identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober (https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpat

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terrance T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpatient couns

My problem in my addiction was relapsing, even though I meant well. Maybe if you recognize the symptoms from this series of blog posts, you will be able to break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpatient counseling; They had eventually relapsed to drinking despite 1-3. Symptoms and Warning  Signs of Relapse Phase 1: Internal Chang

When kids are incorrigible, we like to say, "Eh. It's only a phase." Relapse back to alcohol is only a phase, too, but not one we are likely to grow out of without help. When I relapsed, I grew into it and phased my way through an open sewer. I crawled out of the muck and now count myself among the lucky ones. You, your family, your friends also can be counted among the lucky if you recognize the 11 phases of relapse and do something to end the descent. Terrance T. Gorski, co-author of Staying Sober , identified the 11 phases in the book I have cited here before ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I can't just skim over them in a blog post, and to deal with all in one day would be too much to digest at once. Instead, I will dangle this teaser in front of you. Today, I will name all 11 phases of alcohol relapse. Then for the next 11 days, I will detail each for you. I hope you will find the series helpful enough to review again and again -

I blogged September 1 about shame. People suffering panic attacks do so out of a fear of being shamed in front of others. Instead of facing such fears, some run away to mind-numbing drinks and drugs. I blogged about the need to run toward fears and not away from them on August 30. Have a look back. Today I hope to visit anxiety, fear, and shame again, this time from the perspective of an anecdote about an antidote. It comes from The Feeling Good Handbook , by David D. Burns. ( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2222.The_Feeling_Good_Handbook ) "One antidote to this fear involves purposely doing something foolish in public.... [Note from me: I do that all the time, but not "purposely."] The idea is to do what you're most afraid of so you can learn that the world doesn't come to an end after all.... I performed a 'Shame-Attacking' exercise while on vacation with my family at a casino resort on Lake Tahoe. I put on a cowboy hat and dark glasses and

I asked for my sponsor's help. I confessed I never worked Steps 8 and 9. It's about time I finally do. He and are meeting Monday after A.A. Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I am afraid to do that. I can list people I have harmed, I think. But how do I go to these people and scoop old garbage out of the can? This is where I need my sponsor's guidance. Not just guidance, but a strong shove. I asked God to remove my shortcomings back in Step 7. Cleaning off the noses I bloodied makes Step 9 harder than that. Also, what are amends? The Big Book talks of them. But how do I pay back people like my wife? It isn't just forgiveness I need to seek. But how do I do penance for all the anxiety I put her through? Still, I need to do it somehow, Today's A.A, Daily Reflections explains why: "

A Photo of Sobriety What on earth am I talking about with this picture, you ask. It's a shot of the front of my house. The lawn looks a little bleached out, the landscaping is hard to see, and birds at the first-year birdfeeder are impossible to see. So what makes this a picture of my sobriety? In past summers, when I was drinking off and on, I didn't care what the yard looked like. I worked on it -- sometimes -- mowed -- sometimes -- and watered the tomato plants -- rarely. At times I mowed during and after drinking, and other times I was unable. I claimed I was sick or something and left the chore up to my wife when she got home from work and the day's weather was at its hottest. This week, I trimmed with the electric trimmer and mowed with the handle broken on the mower, making the job even harder. But I did it! I have done it all summer. My yard is a place of beauty compared to other summers. My arms and legs and cardio-vascular system are getting stronger. Ab

The Bible says, " For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven." (Ecclesiastes, 3:1) My season is winter. It's hard for me to run anymore. Or go down steps without a handrail. My daughters are approaching middle age. It's still summer for them, but autumn isn't far away. My hands are stiff with arthritis. Even interesting TV shows put me to sleep. I forget stuff, but I remember when we had no personal computers or cell phones. Or blogs. Yeah, winter is setting in all right. I was in just 32 when the Bangles sang, "Look around. Leaves are brown. And the sky is a hazy shade of winter." Now I know what that means. But now doesn't have to be the winter of our discontent. (I tinkered with Gloucester's quote from Richard III.) This season has given me a new look at life. I found God, and then He led me to sobriety. That changed everything. I have an opportunity to influence alcoholics and others. I'm pleased w

Drinking is expensive. If you do it or did it, you know that. If you don't imbibe, you're paying a price anyway. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that excessive alcohol consumption costs the U.S. about $250 billion a year, mainly due to losses in workplace productivity, health care expenses, criminal justice costs, motor vehicle crashes, and property damage. ( https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/data-stats.htm#economicCosts ) If you are a binge drinker (four or more drinks per occasion for women, five or more for men) you were responsible for 77% of the cost of drinking alcohol. Whether you drink or not, federal, state, and local taxpayers got stuck with $2 of every $5 of those economic costs. The CDC has the costs of intoxication broken down by state, if you're interested. States where I lived or have many Facebook friends include Kentucky (cost per capita $736), Pennsylvania ($751), Idaho ($726), Washington ($863), California ($940), Ohio ($739), Texas ($748), and

Mindfulness is a tool I keep practicing to keep myself sober. I began drinking too much because memories of my wonderful past life had changed. Those good times were gone forever, forcing me to lay out a revised road map for my future life. Sadly, I felt better when I drank. Then I came to learn that mindfulness is something I need. Mindfulness, in part, is paying attention to the present and finding contentment there. A Harvard study found the average person's mind is wandering 47% of the time. That means almost half of our lives is missing. Transformation to being mindful can't be achieved by sheer willpower. It requires focus, meditation, and practice. Practice, practice, practice. What you practice grows stronger. Mindfulness strengthens our immune system, decreases stress, and helps us sleep better. When I drank, I was fighting all the positive things that should have been happening in my mind and body. I came to feel ashamed of myself. I thought, no big deal. I'