Posts

Showing posts with the label suicidal

Drinking Was My "Mask of Perceived Normalcy"

Image
Most of what I read these days is an effort to learn more about myself, about others, and about my higher power I call God. In Sacred Rest ( https://www.faithwords.com/titles/dr-saundra-dalton-smith/sacred-rest/9781478921660/ ) Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith tells about a patient she once treated. The woman had cut her wrists. "Large brown eyes were not looking at me; they were looking into me.... 'Do you sometimes feel invisible too?' ... I had never cut my wrist, but I was the same as her. I too was medicating my loneliness. Not through cuts and self-mutilation, but through my own vices. While she resorted to a blade, my weapon of choice left little evidence of a problem. While she sought relief in watching the blood running down her arms, I sought relief in hiding behind a mask of perceived normalcy." Many who cut their wrists are seeking to end their numbness. Some do it for attention. I chose to hide loneliness and sadness by drinking them away, rather than ...

Depression And the Urge to Self-Medicate: Part 8 of 12

Image
I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out...