Corking the Bottle

(Reprinted from my blog post August 6, 2018) We pray the Lord's prayer. We hold hands in a circle and repeat it after most A.A. meetings. We say it every Sunday in church. When I was little, we said it before each school day began. But did you ever notice that there's a catch to it? Everything is asked straightforward: Give us our daily bread, don't lead us into temptation, deliver us from evil. Right in the middle is a scary action item for  us , a do-this-for-me-and-I-will-do-this-for-you deal we make with God. "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." In the Presbyterian church where I grew up, we replace "trespasses" with "debts." It seems like Presbyterians are worried about money we owe and others owe us. Un-Presbyterians promise to obey God's "No Trespassing!" signs, the same as we allow others into our yards.  "Trespasses" and "debts" don't get to the main...

"Just as a sculptor will use different tools to achieve desired effects in creating a work of art, in Alcoholics Anonymous the Twelve Steps are used to bring about results in my own life.... My life is now in the Hands of my Higher Power, a master craftsman who is shaping each part of my life into a unique work of art." That's an excerpt from A.A.'s Daily Reflections for July 1. After it was read at an A.A. meeting I attended that day, Jim added to the sculpting metafore. He said sculpting is done either by adding or taking away. By starting with nothing, an artist can take clay and form it to take the shape he wants. Or a sculptor can start with a rock or a slab of metal or even ice and take away from it until he creates the form he wants it to have. Jim's point was that God does sculpt us. He can do so by adding joy to our lives and helping us find our true form. God also sculpts us by taking away our drinking and our flaws. "He makes me a new person....

I asked for my sponsor's help. I confessed I never worked Steps 8 and 9. It's about time I finally do. He and are meeting Monday after A.A. Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I am afraid to do that. I can list people I have harmed, I think. But how do I go to these people and scoop old garbage out of the can? This is where I need my sponsor's guidance. Not just guidance, but a strong shove. I asked God to remove my shortcomings back in Step 7. Cleaning off the noses I bloodied makes Step 9 harder than that. Also, what are amends? The Big Book talks of them. But how do I pay back people like my wife? It isn't just forgiveness I need to seek. But how do I do penance for all the anxiety I put her through? Still, I need to do it somehow, Today's A.A, Daily Reflections explains why: "...

We pray the Lord's prayer. We hold hands in a circle and repeat it after most A.A. meetings. We say it every Sunday in church. When I was little, we said it before each school day began. But did you ever notice that there's a catch to it? Everything is asked straightforward: Give us our daily bread, don't lead us into temptation, deliver us from evil. Right in the middle is a scary action item for us , a do-this-for-me-and-I-will-do-this-for-you deal we make with God. "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." In the Presbyterian church where I grew up, we replace "trespasses" with "debts." It seems like Presbyterians are worried about money we owe and others owe us. Un-Presbyterians promise to obey God's "No Trespassing!" signs, the same as we allow others into our yards.  "Trespasses" and "debts" don't get to the main issue here. Don't we really mean, "F...