Corking the Bottle

ADD is a result of trauma. That's the premise of Dr. Gabor Mate. (Add a ' over the e; I don't know how on my keyboard. It's pronounced Mattay) Today I want to shepherd y'all to his Youtube piece on addiction. It's insightful and interesting. On the downside, it lasts an hour. I listened while I worked out on my exercise bike. Maybe you can simply prop up your footrest and listen. Taking your PC outdoors on a warm spring day seems appealing. However you choose you will find it worthwhile. He covers a variety of topics related to the psychology of addiction and the impacts of trauma on our lives. That's the reason for the lead sentence above. Take a listen at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07nOScAHnXI . A wish he expressed was to have everyone who ever uses the word "addict" to instead say, "a human being who suffered so much pain that they didn't know how to escape from it except through this particular behavior. That would change...

If you're as old as I am, you might remember a time back in the hippie days when the country was fighting a winless war and our leaders were being assassinated and peace rallies turned into riots. We heard the cry many times from many places: God is dead! It seemed as though the world was out of control. The captain of the ship had stepped away from the wheel and we were sinking. There were no lifeboats, just sandbags. I was a kid then. I thought that's the way our existence would be forever. I knew no other social environment. Maybe, I wondered, God really is dead. I know better now. Sometimes God does step away from the wheel. That's the way my dad taught me to ride a bike: by holding me up and then, without a word, letting me pedal on my own while staying a safe distance behind to catch me. The following is from a book, Coming Clean , by Seth Haines ( https://modernmrsdarcy.com/books/coming-clean-a-story-of-faith/ ). The passage is a little long for this blog ...

Here are some interesting statements from A.A. meetings. Donna said it's a big deal just to do her own laundry now that she is sober. I can say the same thing about keeping the house clean and doing yard work. Someone said once that becoming sober is like adolescence. That's an interesting metaphor. Our bodies and minds are going through major changes. Sometimes emotions take over. We might have a desire to go back -- to our childhoods or to using. It feels like the discomfort is permanent despite what others tell us. Remember, not even mountains last forever. Adolescence passed and so will this. Bill found his work became his new addiction. It enabled him to avoid family and alcohol, but something still was missing. He started going back to A.A. meetings, and I assume he found what he needed. Like all of us, he rediscovered the support and personal accountability we find at A.A. The meetings strengthen our spirituality, restore ourselves, and provide opportunities to hel...

If you find yourself digging a deeper and deeper hole, the logical first step is to get rid of the shovel. Then you can plan how to get out. "You hit bottom when you stop digging," the Big Book says on page 325. As long as that shovel was available, however, I was determined  to keep digging. I didn't really want to stop, even though I told others I did. A narrative in the Big Book, "It might Have Been Worse," describes our predicament. "Again I promised to do something about it (drinking). Broken promises, humiliation, hopelessness, worry, anxiety -- but still not enough (to make me lay down my shovel).... "Like all alcoholics I wanted to handle my problem my own way, which really meant I didn't want anything to interfere with my drinking. I was trying to find an easier, softer way." Right in front of me was God. He had been there the hole time, waiting for me to find the answers on my own. He isn't an easier, softer answer, bu...

A 10-year-old boy in Louisville committed suicide last week. Apparently he couldn't stand the bullying and saw no other escape. Many with substance abuse problems feel the same way. Alcohol and drugs bully them to the point where they no longer can stand the misery. This was posted to Facebook: The Alcoholic Next Door  shared a  post . Yesterday at 7:35 AM  ·  I'll never forget the first time I actually thought about killing myself. That is a really dark place to be. Alcohol and drugs are powerful and they can really take your mind and body to places you never imagined. I remember feeling really trapped. I didn't want to stop drinking but everything in my life was telling me I needed help. I couldn't process what to do and I'll never forget that thought coming through my head of... maybe it would just be easier if I killed mys elf. Man that's messed up. It's in these moments when you realize how powerful the mind...

I went to visit a young woman in the hospital today.  I'll call her Shannon. She has been in and out of care with heart problems for a while now. I had a hunch, so I asked her, "You're really here because of heroin addiction, aren't you?" Sort of. Her heart really is bad. But it's heroin withdrawal that actually bedded her two weeks ago. She escaped once before against doctors' orders, but her pain brought her back. Her mother died of an OD last week. I posted a piece here about attending her funeral. She died alone. I tried to help guide and mentor Shannon and her siblings when they were kids. God knows they needed someone stable in their poverty-depressed lives. There's considerable question about my rate of success, as I looked at the woman in bed before me. Once I took Shannon's mom to lunch and she told me of torture and abuse at the hands of her then-husband. Shannon today admitted she and her mom both were beaten often. She didn'...

Home basketball season opened last night for the University of Louisville women's basketball team. I have been a season ticket holder for several years, just a few rows up in the corner of the KFC Yum! Center. We have made the final four three times, including last year, and played in the national championship twice, getting clobbered both times by Connecticut. Ugh!  I enjoyed the game last night immensely, We beat Miami (Ohio) by 22 points. What made the game so great was that I watched it completely sober. I missed a few games in the past because I was too drunk. One time I went and forgot where I parked the car. During the first round of the NCAA tournament last spring, which we hosted here, I saw us beat Boise State, but I was only half there. I didn't make it to game 2. On the way there, I rear-ended a car and woke up in the  emergency room. I wasn't hurt, but I was completely out of it. I don't remember the accident or the ambulance ride. So, how fun was dri...