Corking the Bottle

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." If there is a God, why would He allow me to drink uncontrollably? When I asked for help to stop, why was there no answer? Why did He watch my life deteriorate to the point of harmful self-medication? Where is God's love? Where is the joy and peace and serenity I supposedly had been promised? The flip response is, "Don't give up hope." Now you say, "I had hope, but disappointments and time made it all run out. Then I say, "Hope is only a word if you take no action to see A.A.'s promises come true. Don't give up. Don't ever give up." But you turn away and quit looking for God: "It's hopeless." If such frustration is your's read the Big Book, from the bottom of page 37 to page 43. I can't do those pages justice by summarizing them here, so read them if you have your doubts about a higher power. Nevertheless, ...

I want to point something out about the relationship between two of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. First, Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Then, Step 11: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." Step 3 makes me think of  meeting a new friend and asking him to do something for me. "Take over my will and my life, please." By Step 11 I know this friend better, and now I'm willing to do something nice for Him. "Hey, y'know, I would be happy to spend more time with you, and if you want me to do something for you, just let me know what your will for me is." Sep 11 strikes me as being a follow-up to Step 3. After Steps 4-10, I have come to know God better and my hope is to do His will for me. Before the steps, I was messing up my ...

Pennsylvania, where I was born and raised, calls itself The Keystone State, because people believed that, like a keystone, Pennsylvania held the other 12 states together. Today's A.A. Daily Reflection ( https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection ) calls Step 3 the keystone step. "The 'other pieces' are Steps One, Two, and Four through Twelve. In one sense this sounds like Step Three is the most important Step, that the other eleven depend on the third for support. In reality however, Step Three is just one of the twelve. It is the keystone...." But without Step 3, no full recovery from alcoholism can be made. I think that is right. Turning our will and our lives over to the care of God or to our higher power is essential to recovery. It also is essential to the lives of everybody , alcoholic or addict or not. Trust God. Follow His will. You will find that life is better that way. He knows what is best for our lives.

 I can't be in control all the time. There were times I wanted to be, tried to be, demanded I be. That never worked out so hot. I came up with an analogy once when on a trip. The pilot, crew, and control tower were in control. Not me. That's a situation where I had to relinquish all control and trust others. My record as a pilot wasn't so good. I also noted that for many years in the car, I rode in the passenger seat. My wife was at the wheel. She likes to drive and I would rather look at the scenery. On longer trips, I read and nap as she drives. I trust her to get us where we are going safely. Sometimes I offer suggestions: Don't follow so close behind that truck; Pass the old lady in front of us; The light is changing; Cars are stopping ahead..... She rarely takes my suggestions. She is in control and would rather do things her own way. I am better off keeping my mouth shut and turning up the radio. (That's a suggestion she firmly offers to me.) Likewise...

I am reading Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsh ( http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com/ ). He writes as if he were asking God questions about living and being and then he answers them. Some of what "God" says fits my beliefs, some I don't understand, and some I reject. A.A. has taught me to respect the beliefs of others when I don't agree. We all have a right to be wrong. Including me. One part of the book speaks out to me, given I just lost my father-in-law after his long stretch of discomfort, pain, and dementia. The God in the book tells Walsh: "The entire medical profession is trained to keep people alive, rather than keeping people comfortable so they can die with dignity. "You see, to a doctor or nurse death is a failure,,,, Only to the soul is death a relief -- a release. "The greatest gift you can give the dying is to let them die in peace -- not thinking they must 'hang on,' or continue to suffer, or worry about you at ...

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. The writers of the Big Book italicized those words, not I. God as we understand him must be part of sobriety or sobriety doesn't work. I find God at the root of all that I read and all that I hear at A.A. meetings. Actually, Step 3 must be a part of everyone's lives, addict or not, in order to fully understand real joy, to maneuver through life's setbacks, to overcome our flaws, and to care about others. I like to quote The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren ( https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-purpose-driven-life-what-on-earth-am-i-here-for-by-rick-warren/247079/?mkwid=s|dc&pcrid=263432259749&pkw=&pmt=b&plc=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIt-r-5bHv3AIVQbXACh1qcQoAEAAYBSAAEgKB8fD_BwE#isbn=0310210747&idiq=5181304 ).   But that doesn't mean I always have to agree with everything it contains. On page 101 it says, "God is pleased when our love is accurate...