Corking the Bottle

I am so dagone fortunate to have the close, loving family I have. The Boak family and mine were good friends long ago. We attended the same church, we belonged to the Busy Beavers camping club, we watched football games at each others' homes, and we took vacations together. Stick with me on this, please. I am leading to a Big Book point. Boaks had two daughters. The younger one called me her big brother because she didn't have one. The older daughter, in 1977, called me her husband. Thus our families were forever linked. Some of us live far away from each other, but relish every opportunity to be together. The last time was for christmas; the next time will be in Ohio this July for our annual family campout. Our latest family joy is that my sister, who has lived in Idaho for the past 35 years or so, and her husband are moving to Louisville next month and will share our home until they are on their feet. I am flying out to help them load a rental truck and drive with them ...

"Why all this insistence that every A.A must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.s' remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 24 I hit bottom and found it wasn't rock bottom. Instead it was more like a trampoline. I soared back up out of that pit of despair. You know what happens when you propel yourself from a trampoline. There's an inevitable fall. But once you hit the trampoline at the bottom again, up you fly. I did the same thing again and again, relapsing and then plummeting to the bottom. At last I got tired of that cycle. I steered clear of the trampoline, crashed onto rock bottom, and then began the slow, painful climb out of the pit of despair. I reached open ground and found sunshine and happy people and f...

I just spent one of my best Christmases ever. Of course I spent it sober. I am approaching eight months, my best streak without slips or relapses. I went to Grove City, Pennsylvania, along with my wife, my older daughter, and my mother-in-law. We had a family lunch with all my family and all my wife's family. We had about 20 people. The only ones missing were my younger daughter and a sister, who both live out West. This was a long trek away from my worst Christmas ever, three years ago. We planned the same family get-together seven hours from Louisville. I was looking forward to it, but not to the long trip. I relaxed the night before with enough vodka to help me sleep, and a little more so I could be semi-conscious the next morning. I don't remember a lot. I got a phone call from my wife. She was on her way to Pennsylvania without me. She said she tried to wake me up but couldn't. So she and my daughter left without me. That meant all my family saw I was missing in ...

Let's consider today the paradox of giving up alcohol. No one could make me quit. I had to have the desire to do it and then accept the guidance of A.A. and therapists. Yesterday's Daily Reflection called sobriety "an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way." True, but I can't do it myself. I need a sponsor. I need the support of other recovering alcoholics. I need the care and concern of my family. In my case, I need medication, professional therapists, psychiatrists, and a month of in-patient rehab. See the paradox? Recovery is an individual thing that we can't do alone.

I will be brief this morning because I am about to take a seven-hour drive to visit Mom and one, maybe two, of me three sisters. (The third lives in northern Idaho.) My family and extended family (that includes all my inlaws) have all been important through my childhood and adult growth. They all know and experienced my drinking problem. They love me just the same. Here is a passage I highlighted in Choose Joy by Kay Warren ( https://kaywarren.com ): "God is the only true source of joy. God will be there when all else is shaking. He will be there when the people you love let you down or leave you or die. He will be there when the place you thought would make you happy doesn't satisfy any longer. He will be there when the possession is lost or gets broken. He will be there when your position changes or is given to someone else. H e will be there when your personality just isn't enough." May He be with you today and every day.

I haven't blogged for a while because I have been camping. This past week was our annual family getaway. This year we camped by Port Townsend along Lake Erie in Ohio. Each year, my family and inlaws, who were friends long before we joined them with our marriage, get together to camp someplace. To paraphrase a cliche, you can't choose your family but you can choose your inlaws. I scored on both counts! I couldn't ask for better. None suffer with drinking problems. So what went wrong with me? Worrying about the past, which can't be altered, gets in the way of living for the moment. This moment only! What went wrong with me doesn't matter nearly so much as the fact I had nothing to drink today. Tomorrow can worry about tomorrow. This is the day and this is the moment in which I live. If you aren't as lucky as I to have a supportive family, you need to depend on your sponsor, AA friends, workmates, church cominglers, maybe a sober neighbor or two.... Make ...