Corking the Bottle

Here is a post I found on the Faces and Voices of Recovery Facebook group site. Does loneliness cause you to use or want to use? Then Paul's story is for you. Paul Noiles December 15 at 7:42 AM Addiction is one of the loneliest disorders. From the outside, I seemed to be the opposite of lonely. I was an extrovert with high social skills, lots of good- time buddies and was the life of many parties. I can even remember my wife being jealous of how easily I made friends. But in reality, I was a fake. I was a masterful actor who never came off the stage because I feared the real me was not enough. I created the fake Paul because I could not handle any more rejection or humiliation, which began in my childhood environment. I created the fake Paul to hide the shame of being a highly sensitive person (HSP). I created the fake Paul because I felt unwanted and alone. "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty....

I posted earlier today that the past can be cherished without retreating to it. This from Facebook delivers a similar message. Today is tomorrow's past. Live in the moment.

The Trump impeachment hearings began today. I have an observation, but I'll do my best to keep my own brush strokes out of the picture. I have strong views on the subject, but you wouldn't nor shouldn't care. These hearings are a waste of taxpayer dollars because they won't change anyone's opinion. Both sides have their minds made up about the outcome. They come into it with a point of view they will use to judge any of the testimony. They dismiss opposing opinions and clamp onto words that reflect their point of view. I have opinionated Facebook friends who accept only rhetoric that backs their opinion, while calling anything else a lie. John attacks often: Under Trump There is no ally we will not abandon There is no promise we won’t break There is no treaty we won’t abrogate There is no dictator we won’t bow to There is no honor There is no civil justice There are no equal rights Make America Great Again? Not so much... Cheryl fights right back:...

This is part of an uplifting Facebook post from Makenzie. I first met her when she was a little kid in need of strength and support. She admits she later fell into a world of drugs. She came out of it and now, about 30 and with two kids, exhibits wholeness, love, and spirituality: Makenzie Love and belonging is a IRREDUCIBLE human need. It's THE human need. Like water, like shelter, like food. It might not be as OBVIOUS as hunger and starving and watching the body just eat itself alive. It eats you alive, but just slower and more painful. Your mind weakens, it attacks itself daily.... Believe they are NOT worthy of love and belonging. Because they feel alone and like no one understands. The only thing standing between you and being loved and belonging is BELIEVING you deserve to be. Like everyone else. Not despite your flaws but BECAUSE of them. We love you BECAUSE of what makes you you. Not "despite" those things. The WHOLE, beautifully, imperfect, complicated ...

Step 9: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I struggled with this until my sponsor advised me to make my amends when doing so made sense, not necessarily on some preconceived occasion where bringing up past hurts would be awkward for all. So I made amends in my blog post here Thursday to any schoolmates I may have verbally bullied. I wrote on a high school group Facebook page: "I hope my blog post today (December 6) will begin to make amends to those in high school I put down or ignored. I am so sorry I wasn't nicer to all. You can see my apology at corkingthebottle.blogspot.com ." Beaver Falls, PA I was nervous about opening this can of worms. But I needn't have worried. Here are comments I received: Tremendous courage Dan. A great model to emulate. Risks bring joyful rewards! We all have a past. You express great maturity and maturity by others will be seen in their grace and ...

[First published May 28, 2018] Beaver Falls (Pa.) Senior High School (now middle school) I am Facebook friends with many people I graduated high school with 45 years ago. Some of them I hung around with in school and out. But many of them I barely knew. Some I can't remember at all. But each one brings to the keyboard some kind of wisdom. They are parents and grandparents. Some have strong political views. Some have good jobs. Some, like me, are retired. All have contributed to society and other former classmates in some way. When I was in high school, I rarely and barely spoke to some of these "friends." If they weren't getting all A's and B's in the classroom, as I was, they wouldn't amount to much after graduation. Was I right or was I right? I figured they would end up working on a steel mill floor, waiting on customers at  Kaufman's, or dumping trash cans into a truck. Yes, I was  that  arrogant! I still had a touch of better-than-y...

I used to work with kids from financially deprived families. Some had parents lost in drugs and alcohol. Some had no idea what love was but knew something was missing in their homes. Some suffered abuse. All were growing up among classmates who lived lives that appeared better, more successful -- and unattainable. I tried to show them there were choices in life. That was tough. One girl in middle school told me the power to her house was turned off every month because her parents hadn't paid the bill. She and her younger brothers had to get ready for school in the dark, unaware of what clothes they had put on or how unkempt their hair was. Sometimes those same kids prepared for school without running water. How can one make a difference in lives like these? I tell you this because I don't really know if taking these kids to restaurants, sporting events, or even to my house, which at that time was home to a functioning model family, ever taught them there was a different way...

I hesitated about posting to my Facebook friends I was alcoholic. I thought long and hard. What will people think of me? What do people think of alcoholics in general? A.A.'s Twelfth Step says, "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." It dawned on me that I could do a better job carrying the message to alcoholics if people knew they could come to me for support. I added the address of this blog on Facebook so friends could read this and refer others to it. I received a huge outpouring of love and empathy as a result of sharing my disease. Facebook friends added to the number of views of this blog. I shouldn't have been so hesitant to tell others of my disease. From page 20 of the Big Book: "Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." And from page 124: ...

At last, I came out of the closet yesterday. No, not that closet. I have been married -- to a woman -- for 41 years. My closet is filled with empties. I finally worked up the courage to tell my 400-plus Facebook friends that I am a recovering alcoholic. I shared the address of this website in hopes of reaching more people who need reached. I received many positive responses so far. I feel like I am loved, even by people I went to school with and haven't seen in decades. Thank you, dear friends. If you, like me, have been timid about admitting an addiction problem, I would urge you to come clean, based on my experience. I figured if someone doesn't understand my disease and wants to pass judgement against me, that is no big loss. I pray for them and hope alcoholism never darkens their family's doorstep. If this is your first time reading my blog, I refer you to the last post I wrote yesterday. It tells my story of how I fell victim to the booze bottle. Prayers for ...

I am Facebook friends with many people I graduated high school with 45 years ago (almost to the exact day!). Some of them I hung around with in school and out. But many of them I barely knew. Some I can't remember at all. But each one brings to the keyboard some kind of wisdom. They are parents and grandparents. Some have strong political views. Some have good jobs. Some, like me, are retired. All have contributed to society and other former classmates in some way. When I was in high school, I rarely and barely spoke to some of these "friends." If they weren't getting all A's and B's in the classroom, as I was, they wouldn't amount to much after graduation. Was I right or was I right? I figured they would end up working on a steel mill floor, waiting on customers at  Kaufman's, or dumping trash cans into a truck. Yes, I was that arrogant! I still had a touch of better-than-youism when I started with AA. At least there, I knew we all shared at ...