Corking the Bottle

Everything happens for a reason. We hear it said often. Sometimes the reason becomes instantly apparent; sometimes it never does. But God truly is working miracles, whether clear to us or not. Today's A.A. Daily Reflection is an example of God obviously working through someone and his fear: "... During the first three years of sobriety I had a fear of entering an elevator alone. One day I decided I must walk through this fear. I asked for God's help, entered the elevator, and there in the corner was a lady crying. She said that since her husband had died she was deathly afraid of elevators. I forgot my fear and comforted her. This spiritual experience helped me to see how willingness was the key to working the rest of the Twelve Steps to recovery. God helps those who help themselves." Then there is the young woman I tried to help since childhood. She simply couldn't break her heroin addiction and she died last month. On the surface, it seemed she accomplishe...

The Daily Reflection of A.A. for March 29 leaves me unsure. After all, I am older now and my days are numbered. Well, my days always have been numbered, but it's a much smaller number now. This is what the Daily Reflection said: " In  Zorba the Greek , Nikos Kazantzakis describes an encounter between his principal character and an old man busily at work planting a tree. 'What is it you are doing?' Zorba asks. The old man replies: 'You can see very well what I’m doing, my son, I’m planting a tree.' 'But why plant a tree,' Zorba asks, 'if you won’t be able to see it bear fruit?' And the old man answers: 'I, my son, live as though I were never going to die.' The response brings a faint smile to Zorba’s lips and, as he walks away, he exclaims with a note of irony: 'How strange—I live as though I were going to die tomorrow!'" So how am I supposed to live? As if I will live forever or as if this is my last day? If I am goin...

I know them, and you know them too: those bible-thumping, scripture-quoting, righteous-feeling people. Some of them talk the talk without walking the walk. The last time I went to church religiously (pun intended), I became disillusioned when the new pastor, a righteous-feeling married man, resigned in disgrace after an affair with a woman in the church. We've become nauseated by a stream of reports through the years of priests molesting underage boys. Did they think God was napping when they committed these atrocities? I hear a few people at A.A. meetings quoting Big Book passages but doing nothing. Are they living those passages or grandstanding? Cynthia said at my home group meeting that she knew a man who attended A.A. meetings for 20 years, but did nothing for A.A., other members, or his own sobriety. He died drunk. "Faith without works is dead" (Big Book, page 88). The Daily Reflection for February 15 reads: "One of the most important things A.A. has g...

[First published May 21, 2018] "That's gratitude for ya!" I've heard that a lot and maybe said it myself at least once or 99 times. These days I am working on not expecting gratitude. If I go out of my way for someone, I do it out of love and caring, not recognition. The other side of this nickel is being sure to express  my  gratitude to others, even for the little things. When someone lets me out into the traffic flow, I wave my gratitude. I was treated to lunch today, and I certainly thanked my host. If you read my first entry to this blog, you will see that I lost my gratitude to God. I expected Him to go easy on me. Styx sang, "I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high." That was me. I forgot it wasn't my brains or beauty that made my life so comfortable. It was God. I lost a lot from those days past, including my sobriety. Now I thank God for sun when it's sunny, rain when it's raining, and a day of sobriety when I don'...

Let's consider today the paradox of giving up alcohol. No one could make me quit. I had to have the desire to do it and then accept the guidance of A.A. and therapists. Yesterday's Daily Reflection called sobriety "an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way." True, but I can't do it myself. I need a sponsor. I need the support of other recovering alcoholics. I need the care and concern of my family. In my case, I need medication, professional therapists, psychiatrists, and a month of in-patient rehab. See the paradox? Recovery is an individual thing that we can't do alone.

"Meditation" used to be a scary word to me. I envisioned some bald-headed man sitting cross-legged on the floor chanting, "Ohmmm. Ohmmmm."Another lessoned learned in sobriety from A.A., counselors, and The Big Book is that I was meditating all along. I just didn't know it. To me, a quiet walk in the woods was calming. Years go, when I lived in Idaho, the highlight of my existence was going to the mountains to camp and hike. When I couldn't go to the mountains, I found contentment walking with my dog beyond my backyard to the sage-covered hillsides any time of year. The ravine there was the greatest quiet I ever didn't hear. Sometimes I thought about my higher power of the time and I even prayed. Some of those prayers were for myself, but at least I was praying. And unknowingly, I was meditating. These days I meditate in the quiet of my house, at A.A, before a meeting starts, and when I'm in the car. As Mark said at A.A. today, prayer is askin...

My younger daughter flew in on Thursday following a training trip to New Orleans. When she left her home in Colorado Springs, she didn't expect a stopover in Louisville. She arrived with a suitcase of dirty clothes, which she immediately washed at my house. With her clothes cleaned, she was able to move on and enjoy her visit. She took care of yesterday's baggage, which is what we all need to do daily, metaphorically speaking. Going back to A.A.'s Daily Reflection from October 5, "I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday's baggage too. I must balance today's books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory." That leads us to A.A.'s Step 10, which I try to follow at the end of ev...

"That's gratitude for ya!" I've heard that a lot and maybe said it myself at least once or 99 times. These days I am working on not expecting gratitude. If I go out of my way for someone, I do it out of love and caring, not recognition. The other side of this nickel is being sure to express my gratitude to others, even for the little things. When someone lets me out into the traffic flow, I wave my gratitude. I was treated to lunch today, and I certainly thanked my host. If you read my first entry to this blog, you will see that I lost my gratitude to God. I expected Him to go easy on me. Styx sang, "I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high." That was me. I forgot it wasn't my brains or beauty that made my life so comfortable. It was God. I lost a lot from those days past, including my sobriety. Now I thank God for sun when it's sunny, rain when it's raining, and a day of sobriety when I don't drink. Today's A.A. Daily Refl...