Corking the Bottle

[First published August 1, 2018] I miss Jeff. We worked down the hall from each other until a brain tumor or something forced him to quit and move back home to western Pennsylvania. We graduated the same year from high schools just a few miles apart, and both found our way to Rohm and Haas in Louisville. I visited him once at his home in Zelienople when he was sick. Not long after, I drove 450 miles to attend his funeral there. Jeff told me something I will always remember. The lesson seems clear to me now, but it took a while to sink in. My recovery from alcoholism has helped me hear his words more clearly. He stood in my office door one day and told me that what we say about other people tells more about us than it does about them. I don't remember how the conversation evolved to that point. But he said if we say someone is lazy, for example, that doesn't mean he is. That just means that is our opinion and our opinion only. It tells the listener that we fear laziness in...

A.A., the Twelve Steps, sponsors, people at meetings, counseling.... None of it makes any difference. Huh? you say. Let me explain, I reply. None of that stuff helped me at all -- until I opened my mind and chose them. Until I accepted that I was traveling a wrong path and wanted to get well, nothing could ever help one iota. My mind had to become fertile ground. I believed in a higher power all right. But I didn't BELIEVE in a higher power. I kinda sorta wanted to change, but only if I could do it my way. Thank God I surrendered, embraced all the help that was there to be harvested, and literally embraced fellow A.A. members. " At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.... Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." (the Big Book, page 58) How about you? Are you willing to admit you are powerless over alcohol? See Steps 1-3 to get started.

I miss Jeff. We worked down the hall from each other until a brain tumor or something forced him to quit and move back home to western Pennsylvania. We graduated the same year from high schools just a few miles apart, and both found our way to Rohm and Haas in Louisville. I visited him once at his home in Zelienople when he was sick. Not long after, I drove 450 miles to attend his funeral there. Jeff told me something I will always remember. The lesson seems clear to me now, but it took a while to sink in. My recovery from alcoholism has helped me hear his words more clearly. He stood in my office door one day and told me that what we say about other people tells more about us than it does about them. I don't remember how the conversation evolved to that point. But he said if we say someone is lazy, for example, that doesn't mean he is. That just means that is our opinion and our opinion only. It tells the listener that we fear laziness in ourselves. If we say someone is bo...