Corking the Bottle

Jody relapsed the other night. She confessed tearfully at A.A. yesterday. It's not the first time she wept at a meeting. I can see she tries hard, but she is in the deadly clutches most of us experience as we try to stop drinking. Several times in several ways, others at the meeting consoled her by pointing out that when we slip or relapse, we never lose what we gained. We have acquired new knowledge, new people, and new understanding of ourselves. Jody is better off now than during her last relapse because she has resources she didn't have before. She now must recover from guilt, shame, and remorse. It's a hard road back. But at some point, that road straightens for us as long as we really want it to. Plus accepting God and His will for us will keep us on that straight road despite a few bumps and potholes.

With this post, I conclude a series that I hope will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. For me, I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). His research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpatient counseling; They had eventually relapsed to drinking despite 1-3. Symptoms and Warning  Signs of Relapse Phase 11 .  Alcohol and drug use. During this phase, you return to alcohol and drug use, try to...

I blogged September 1 about shame. People suffering panic attacks do so out of a fear of being shamed in front of others. Instead of facing such fears, some run away to mind-numbing drinks and drugs. I blogged about the need to run toward fears and not away from them on August 30. Have a look back. Today I hope to visit anxiety, fear, and shame again, this time from the perspective of an anecdote about an antidote. It comes from The Feeling Good Handbook , by David D. Burns. ( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2222.The_Feeling_Good_Handbook ) "One antidote to this fear involves purposely doing something foolish in public.... [Note from me: I do that all the time, but not "purposely."] The idea is to do what you're most afraid of so you can learn that the world doesn't come to an end after all.... I performed a 'Shame-Attacking' exercise while on vacation with my family at a casino resort on Lake Tahoe. I put on a cowboy hat and dark glasses and ...

Mindfulness is a tool I keep practicing to keep myself sober. I began drinking too much because memories of my wonderful past life had changed. Those good times were gone forever, forcing me to lay out a revised road map for my future life. Sadly, I felt better when I drank. Then I came to learn that mindfulness is something I need. Mindfulness, in part, is paying attention to the present and finding contentment there. A Harvard study found the average person's mind is wandering 47% of the time. That means almost half of our lives is missing. Transformation to being mindful can't be achieved by sheer willpower. It requires focus, meditation, and practice. Practice, practice, practice. What you practice grows stronger. Mindfulness strengthens our immune system, decreases stress, and helps us sleep better. When I drank, I was fighting all the positive things that should have been happening in my mind and body. I came to feel ashamed of myself. I thought, no big deal. I'...