Corking the Bottle

[First published August 15, 2018] I heard a riddle at today's A.A. speakers meeting. How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He just holds it and the world turns around him! I find that particularly humorous in light of one of my character defects I have identified and work to change every day -- self-centeredness. According to Freud, "Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism." If I pawned my narcissism, I have yet to receive any cash for it, which suggests I am still hanging on to some of it. When I was lying in intensive care after drinking so much I was unresponsive on the floor, a social worker told me about A.A. and gave me a list of local meetings. I told her thanks, but no thanks. What I didn't tell her was that I knew the kind of people who attend A.A. meetings, and I'm not one of them. I have a college degree. I retired after being a professional for 35 years. I have a...

I once associated loving myself with narcism. Feeling humble seemed the opposite of loving me. Instead, I have learned that loving myself has to come before loving anyone else. I can't give away what I don't have. Poor self-image is one of those character defects that leads to drinking and alcoholism. From The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns (https://feelinggood.com/ ): "But changing the way you feel is only one of our goals. The other goal is self-acceptance. I want you to learn to accept and love yourself as a flawed and imperfect human. I want you to accept your strengths as well as your weaknesses without a sense of shame or embarrassment." And this from Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch ( http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com/ ) : "You must see your Self as worthy before you can see another as worthy. You must first see your Self as blessed before you can see another as blessed. You must first know your Self to be holy before you can ack...

I heard a riddle at today's A.A. speakers meeting. How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He just holds it and the world turns around him! I find that particularly humorous in light of one of my character defects I have identified and work to change every day -- self-centeredness. According to Freud, "Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism." If I pawned my narcissism, I have yet to receive any cash for it, which suggests I am still hanging on to some of it. When I was lying in intensive care after drinking so much I was unresponsive on the floor, a social worker told me about A.A. and gave me a list of local meetings. I told her thanks, but no thanks. What I didn't tell her was that I knew the kind of people who attend A.A. meetings, and I'm not one of them. I have a college degree. I retired after being a professional for 35 years. I have a nice home and never have lived in a...