Corking the Bottle

As I write this, the spread of the coronavirus is the big story around the world. For those with symptoms, here is some chicken soup -- Chicken Soup for the Soul , that is. I bought it for a couple bucks at a Goodwill store and finished reading it this morning. The last item is "100 Gifts to Give All Year Long." I will pull out a few items that I think are valuable for us alcoholics: Smile. Provide a shoulder to lean on. Pat someone on the back. Ignore a rude remark. Pay your bills on time. Give your used clothes to a needy person. Say something nice to someone. Catch someone doing it right and say, Great job!" Tell the truth, but with kindness and tact, Ask, "Does the other person really need to hear this?" (Step 9) Do a kind deed anonymously. Listen. Lighten up. Find the funny side of a situation. Take a quiet walk when you feel like blowing your top. Look for something beautiful in one person every day. Ask a friend for help, even when...

(Reprinted from my blog post August 6, 2018) We pray the Lord's prayer. We hold hands in a circle and repeat it after most A.A. meetings. We say it every Sunday in church. When I was little, we said it before each school day began. But did you ever notice that there's a catch to it? Everything is asked straightforward: Give us our daily bread, don't lead us into temptation, deliver us from evil. Right in the middle is a scary action item for  us , a do-this-for-me-and-I-will-do-this-for-you deal we make with God. "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." In the Presbyterian church where I grew up, we replace "trespasses" with "debts." It seems like Presbyterians are worried about money we owe and others owe us. Un-Presbyterians promise to obey God's "No Trespassing!" signs, the same as we allow others into our yards.  "Trespasses" and "debts" don't get to the main...

Step 9: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I struggled with this until my sponsor advised me to make my amends when doing so made sense, not necessarily on some preconceived occasion where bringing up past hurts would be awkward for all. So I made amends in my blog post here Thursday to any schoolmates I may have verbally bullied. I wrote on a high school group Facebook page: "I hope my blog post today (December 6) will begin to make amends to those in high school I put down or ignored. I am so sorry I wasn't nicer to all. You can see my apology at corkingthebottle.blogspot.com ." Beaver Falls, PA I was nervous about opening this can of worms. But I needn't have worried. Here are comments I received: Tremendous courage Dan. A great model to emulate. Risks bring joyful rewards! We all have a past. You express great maturity and maturity by others will be seen in their grace and ...

My knees are stiff these days when I go up and down steps. Crack, crack, pop! It's from running in yesteryears or from old age. I tell myself it's the former, as I grab the handrail and semi-hop when I descend. A.A.'s 12 Steps, I admit, are no easier than tangible steps. I know the cause of that pain: too many years of drinking, denying, lying, stealing.... you know the litany. In working the steps, I had to take a hard look internally and face down my personal demons. The result is a more centered individual who no longer has to hold so tight to the intangible handrail. I completed the first seven steps as an inpatient. I continually review and work at the last three. That leaves just Steps 8 and 9. In Step 8 we are supposed to make "a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Step 9 tells us to make "direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." (Aside:...

I asked for my sponsor's help. I confessed I never worked Steps 8 and 9. It's about time I finally do. He and are meeting Monday after A.A. Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I am afraid to do that. I can list people I have harmed, I think. But how do I go to these people and scoop old garbage out of the can? This is where I need my sponsor's guidance. Not just guidance, but a strong shove. I asked God to remove my shortcomings back in Step 7. Cleaning off the noses I bloodied makes Step 9 harder than that. Also, what are amends? The Big Book talks of them. But how do I pay back people like my wife? It isn't just forgiveness I need to seek. But how do I do penance for all the anxiety I put her through? Still, I need to do it somehow, Today's A.A, Daily Reflections explains why: "...

One of the blessings of my retirement is I can do pretty much whatever I want. Like yesterday, I watched a movie called Flight     ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_(2012_film)#Plot ) . I didn't know it was a movie about addiction until I watched it. If you haven't seen it, do. It will make your day. Denzel Washington is a pilot who heroically saves his commercial flight from crashing. Only six died instead of everyone. What the viewer knows and what a few around Denzel know is he drank vodka before and during the flight. He is hospitalized, and while there tests positive for alcohol. The results get squelched. When he is well, he visits a flight attendant who was once his friend, and his copilot who was paralyzed in the crash landing, and sweet talks them out of testifying against him. He finds a new girlfriend, a recovering heroin addict. She convinces him to attend an A.A. meeting with her. When the speaker talks about how he used to lie, Denzel's conscience...

We pray the Lord's prayer. We hold hands in a circle and repeat it after most A.A. meetings. We say it every Sunday in church. When I was little, we said it before each school day began. But did you ever notice that there's a catch to it? Everything is asked straightforward: Give us our daily bread, don't lead us into temptation, deliver us from evil. Right in the middle is a scary action item for us , a do-this-for-me-and-I-will-do-this-for-you deal we make with God. "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." In the Presbyterian church where I grew up, we replace "trespasses" with "debts." It seems like Presbyterians are worried about money we owe and others owe us. Un-Presbyterians promise to obey God's "No Trespassing!" signs, the same as we allow others into our yards.  "Trespasses" and "debts" don't get to the main issue here. Don't we really mean, "F...