Corking the Bottle

Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79 Step Eight tells us, "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." I have my list. But I'm not sure I am ready to make amends. My mother is on the list. She is 87 years old and lives 430 miles away from me. I never drank in front of her or was drunk when with her. But there have been times my hands shook, I threw up, and was listless after a binge. How do I make amends to her? How can I bring up the subject? She knows I am an alcoholic. She knows I quit drinking, one day at a time. But I haven't figured put how to make amends except by staying away from alcohol. For some unknown reason, she loves me now as much as she ever did. I am grateful to God for that. Loving her in return means I must stay sober. Even when she is gone.

Step 9: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I struggled with this until my sponsor advised me to make my amends when doing so made sense, not necessarily on some preconceived occasion where bringing up past hurts would be awkward for all. So I made amends in my blog post here Thursday to any schoolmates I may have verbally bullied. I wrote on a high school group Facebook page: "I hope my blog post today (December 6) will begin to make amends to those in high school I put down or ignored. I am so sorry I wasn't nicer to all. You can see my apology at corkingthebottle.blogspot.com ." Beaver Falls, PA I was nervous about opening this can of worms. But I needn't have worried. Here are comments I received: Tremendous courage Dan. A great model to emulate. Risks bring joyful rewards! We all have a past. You express great maturity and maturity by others will be seen in their grace and ...

I asked for my sponsor's help. I confessed I never worked Steps 8 and 9. It's about time I finally do. He and are meeting Monday after A.A. Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I am afraid to do that. I can list people I have harmed, I think. But how do I go to these people and scoop old garbage out of the can? This is where I need my sponsor's guidance. Not just guidance, but a strong shove. I asked God to remove my shortcomings back in Step 7. Cleaning off the noses I bloodied makes Step 9 harder than that. Also, what are amends? The Big Book talks of them. But how do I pay back people like my wife? It isn't just forgiveness I need to seek. But how do I do penance for all the anxiety I put her through? Still, I need to do it somehow, Today's A.A, Daily Reflections explains why: "...