Corking the Bottle

When I got married, my ring was a symbol of my love; a circle, never-ending. But I lost it. The ring didn't fit me, so after a few years of not wearing it -- which was a symbol of something else -- I tried wearing it on my pinkie finger. Look, Dear. I'm wearing my ring again. See? I'm trying to make things work for us. Then a few years ago, I was drunk and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up. Later I was conscious. That's when I realized the ring had slipped off my finger. I looked under the couch cushions, but blacking out meant I really didn't know where I had lost the ring. I never said anything to Kathy about it. I don't know if she knew I had lost the symbol of our marriage and our love. Oh well. I felt like the love was lost anyway. The marriage wouldn't last much longer because I kept drinking. She already had seen a divorce attorney. Somehow, Kathy stuck with me. At last, 16 months ago, I stopped drinking with no relapse on the horizon still....

With this post, I conclude a series that I hope will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. For me, I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). His research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and outpatient counseling; They had eventually relapsed to drinking despite 1-3. Symptoms and Warning  Signs of Relapse Phase 11 .  Alcohol and drug use. During this phase, you return to alcohol and drug use, try to...