Corking the Bottle

A few days ago, I blogged that patience is the will to wait. I have a will to wait, but when I have to go to the bathroom, my will weakens. Queen sings: I want it all; I want it all; I want it all; And I want it NOW. Sometimes, "now" isn't the right time. God knows that at certain times, things don't fit "now." He tells us to wait. Boise Cascade laid me off from the best job I ever had up till then. I wanted to stay in Boise, but God kept saying no. He said no to several jobs I interviewed for. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to support my young family. When the time was right, I landed a job in Washington state, where I was successful and made many wonderful friends. There are times when things don't fit for us, and we wonder why. I prayed for help to be sober, but I kept drinking. Not until I lost my part-time jobs and met good people and, later, sponsors to help me, did God lead me to sobriety. Why didn't God answer my prayers soo

"All things will pass. But they might pass like a kidney stone." -- Mandy at an A.A. meeting in Louisville “Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.” ―  Craig Ferguson,  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

That God Could and Would if He were sought. --Big Book, page 60 I recite this out loud every time we come to it when someone reads How It Works before every A.A. meeting. Lauren Daigle, in First," says it too: Before I bring my need I will bring my heart! Before I lift my cares I will lift my arms I wanna know You I wanna find You In every season In every moment Before I bring my need I will bring my heart And seek You First I wanna seek You I wanna seek You First I wanna keep You I wanna keep You First More than anything I want, I want You First Before I speak a word Let me hear Your voice And in the midst of pain Let me feel Your joy Ooh, I wanna know You I wanna find You In every season In every moment Before I speak a word I will bring my heart And seek You First I wanna seek You I wanna seek You First I wanna keep You I wanna keep You First More than anything I want, I want You First You are my treasure and my reward Let nothing ever come before You are my treasure a

I saw "In Touch with Dr. Stanley for the first time yesterday ( https://www.youtube.com/user/InTouchMinistries/featured ). He was talking about patience, a quality I once lacked. I still do sometimes, but I am much better now. God took that character defect from me in Step 6. I was impatient when I kept asking Him to remove the burden of alcoholism from me. I kept relapsing and, sometimes, blaming Him. But I kept trying and working at it and now I am one year sober. If you are struggling as I was, be patient. Keep working at it. God will set you free in His time. This song is a bonus: Trust in You -- Lauren Daigle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs

This is a must-see for all who are battling the disease known as alcoholism. It's a speech by Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. He describes his own battle against the bottle, his first meeting with Dr. Bob Smith, writing The Big Book, and the beginning of A.A. https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_email&hsimp=yhs-pty_email&hspart=pty&p=youtube+bill+w&guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly9zZWFyY2gueWFob28uY29tL3locy9zZWFyY2g_aHNwYXJ0PXB0eSZoc2ltcD15aHMtcHR5X2VtYWlsJnBhcmFtMj1mOTQyMDZmYi02YmNhLTQ4MmMtOWRjOS1lMzhlMzQwOGFlNGQmcGFyYW0zPWVtYWlsX35VU34mcGFyYW00PX5DaHJvbWV-eW91dHViZStiaWxsK3d-OTdFRDNEMjRBQzc5QjAwQUJDQjU5N0JCQUVGRDlEM0UmcGFyYW0xPTIwMTgxMjA2JnA9eW91dHViZStiaWxsK3cmdHlwZT1lbWFmZl8wX2Ny&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAIDJbU5GXgJyi8tKfBI2LgRRefrgMjHUUbPhxm_Jy5GhzxRGqtX1hg4iF5vdZ6CWzsD-ClyhdOqOcEASUhAqsdKT73dp6cn4Vt_hRgyFy3WgVNFhkajiw7cR4PqrQwIyNsdoc7reiV4ywWrBT0vxmMyB3HG_Ll0JHYVNNtZExaxA#id=7&vid=90fee0fe470103a3572765a1b0

My former boss and still-wonderful person in Washington shared this on Facebook.  A.A. members, take note.

I am so dagone fortunate to have the close, loving family I have. The Boak family and mine were good friends long ago. We attended the same church, we belonged to the Busy Beavers camping club, we watched football games at each others' homes, and we took vacations together. Stick with me on this, please. I am leading to a Big Book point. Boaks had two daughters. The younger one called me her big brother because she didn't have one. The older daughter, in 1977, called me her husband. Thus our families were forever linked. Some of us live far away from each other, but relish every opportunity to be together. The last time was for christmas; the next time will be in Ohio this July for our annual family campout. Our latest family joy is that my sister, who has lived in Idaho for the past 35 years or so, and her husband are moving to Louisville next month and will share our home until they are on their feet. I am flying out to help them load a rental truck and drive with them

God works in wonderful ways. I was on my way home from A.A. today, feeling spiritual because of talk about God. When I started the car, this song was on a regular, commercial radio station. I found it online when I got home. I am supposed to share it widely. Think about the words, watch the videos, be moved. “You Say” Lyrics I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh) You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." -- Greg Anderson That's certainly true with alcoholism. There is no destination; only a day-to-day journey. On the other hand, coming home from a long trip is to me nearly always a joyous destination. If I am working on a long project, the joy comes with the destination, not the journey. The saying can work either way, depending on the situation. That's why Mrs. Barber, in high school senior English, made us write an essay about journey/destination from our view. I wrote that the destination was more important, and I wrote well enough that I was chosen to read my essay out loud. I made perfectly good points to support my  belief. One of my best friends, John B., took the opposite point of view. It made such an impression on me I still remember the essence of what he wrote, some 46 years ago. John told a story of future astronauts on their way to a planet so

This was first posted on June 18, 2018.) Longing to return to my past was a major factor that led me to abuse the bottle. A resource I find helpful, loaned to me by Leslie of Better Alternative Counseling in Louisville, is  The Power of Now  by Eckhart Tolle. She loaned me a boxed variety of 50 inspirational cards. ( https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-power-of-now-50-inspiration-cards-eckhart-tolle/1117656841?st=SEM&sid=BNB_DRS_DSA+-+Catch+All_00000000&2sid=Google_b&sourceId=SEGoS210&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8fCt7MTZ2wIVDgFpCh1qYAbtEAAYBSAAEgLlR_D_BwE ) Here are a few samples: "How to stop creating time? Realize deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life." "Acceptance of what is immediately frees you from mind identification and thus reconnects you with Being. Resistance is the mind." "Enlightenment means choosing to dwell in the state of presence rather than in time. It means saying yes to

“The mentality and behavior of drug addicts and alcoholics is wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope.” ―  Russell Brand "Structured help" may take many forms that can be different for different people. In my case, the help has been A.A., 12 Steps, my sponsor, group therapy, a psychiatrist, a therapist, God, exercise, and my caring wife.

To give up our addicted ways requires a close relationship with a higher power. If I could think of a stronger word than "close" I would use it. "Intimate" maybe? When that bond is formed it is life-changing. If you have experienced such a rebirth, you know what I mean. I sometimes quote The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck.( https://www.seeken.org/the-road-less-traveled-summary/ ) Here is his view of rebirth, the kind we feel when we find God and stop drinking (pages 250-251): "We are always either less or more competent than we believe ourselves to be. The unconscious, however, knows who we really are. A major and essential task in the process of one's spiritual development is the continuous work of bringing one's conscious self-concept into progressively greater congruence with reality. When a large part of this lifelong task is accomplished with relative rapidity, as it may be through intensive psychotherapy, the individual will feel 're

(This was originally posted on June 15, 2018.) I had a Sunday School teacher when I was in high school who believed the Bible was the infallible word of God, no questions asked. That kind of blind belief was met by teenage doubts and questioning. One Sunday, she left the room to let us discuss "firing" her. We did. Our new teacher allowed us to openly discuss Bible stories, what they meant, and if they were literally true. I never lost my faith in a higher power, but I never found Him/Her, for example, as the one who flooded the entire earth except for Noah and his arkful. Today's A.A. Daily Reflection says, "I couldn't accept the concept of a Higher Power because I believed God was cruel and unloving. In desperation I chose a table, a tree, then my A.A. group, as my Higher Power. Time passed, my life improved, and I began to wonder about this Higher Power. Gradually, with patience, humility and a lot of questions, I came to believe in God. Now my relations

Don't think you "could get away with drinking some now." You can't. I can't either. Ever. “Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.” ―  Craig Ferguson,  American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

More stuff I wrote down at A.A. meetings: "A.A. isn't a religious program. Religion is for people trying to get to heaven. A.A. is a spiritual place for people who have been to hell and don't want to go back." (from the late Cecil) About character defects: "Don't take credit for the good or blame for the bad.Change the bad and build on the good. Don't look back. You can only change the present, not the past." "God gives us the gift of brokenness so we can be healed and find joy." "I can be locked up, sobered up, or covered up." Another from Cecil, quoting Patton: "He who angers me conquers me." "Pride isn't feeling better than others. It's feeling good about yourself." "The bottom is simply when you quit digging and lay down your shovel." 6 + 3 = 9. So does 5 + 4. The key is to get to 9 no matter what route you take." "My happiness depends only on me and my relation

I carry a notepad and pen to every A.A. meeting  I attend. I write down the words of wisdom I don't want to forget. Some are maybe quotes plagiarized from others that people want to share. Anyway, here are a few gems from my notes, some dating back to 2015: "You can't fix stupid with duct tape." "There's a door between God and me. The only doorknob is on my side. It's up to me to open the door and let Him in." "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" "You can't think your way to better action; you have to act your way to better thinking." "I used to judge myself by my commitments. Everyone else judged me by my actions." "Don't look back. You can only change the present, not the past." On  a related note: "We can visit the past, but we can't live there." And one more: "Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery. Live only in the present." (Clinging to

"There are a lot of excuses, but never reasons."      --Cynthia, A.A. At a meeting last month, Liza confided her dad is kicking out her brother because he can't or won't quit abusing. At the same meeting, Judy, sadly but resolutely, shared that she is moving and leaving her abusing son with no place to go. I think those are good choices, made reluctantly, as a result of others' poor choices. Life is all about choices -- dozens of them every day, big and small. When we make poor choices, we have to live with the consequences. Certainly I made some bad choices, many of those driven by an addiction to alcohol. Certainly I suffered the consequences. But I have moved on and, with help from God, learned from the bad choices so that now my choosing makes life better. I'm in a position to blog and help others. Mark, at that same A.A. meeting, pointed out that none of us decides, "Hey! A.A. would be a fun place to go. No, we had to face our consequences a

I often tell people my ongoing recovery from alcoholism isn't attributed to one flash of light. Instead I have a toolbox. A plethora of tools has led me here. There was A.A., group therapy, a psychiatrist, medication, a therapist, my wife, books including The Big Book, inpatient treatment, and more. It hasn't been one tool Following through with the metaphor of the toolbox, I heard a line at last night's A.A. meeting: "A.A. has a wrench to fit every nut."

Everything happens for a reason. We hear it said often. Sometimes the reason becomes instantly apparent; sometimes it never does. But God truly is working miracles, whether clear to us or not. Today's A.A. Daily Reflection is an example of God obviously working through someone and his fear: "... During the first three years of sobriety I had a fear of entering an elevator alone. One day I decided I must walk through this fear. I asked for God's help, entered the elevator, and there in the corner was a lady crying. She said that since her husband had died she was deathly afraid of elevators. I forgot my fear and comforted her. This spiritual experience helped me to see how willingness was the key to working the rest of the Twelve Steps to recovery. God helps those who help themselves." Then there is the young woman I tried to help since childhood. She simply couldn't break her heroin addiction and she died last month. On the surface, it seemed she accomplishe