Corking the Bottle

(First published June 14, 2018 and edited today) I'm not very handy when it comes to fixing stuff. At one time, my excuse was no good tools. Now I have plenty of tools and no legitimate excuses. Repairs may take me a long time, but I can only blame lack of knowledge or lack of effort when I fail. I've got plenty of tools in ye olde toolbox. Same thing when it comes to drinking. I'm not so handy when it comes to fixing myself. But when I mess up, I don't degrade myself. I add another tool and sometimes get rid of the ones that aren't helping me. I started off going to A.A. meetings once in a while and going to a local government-supported therapy program. I soon found I needed more than those two tools alone. My toolbox is now full. I regularly: Have a sponsor. See a psychiatrist. See a therapist who exchanges notes with the psychiatrist. Take antidepressants and 500 mg of Antabuse, which is supposed to make me sick if I put alcohol into my system. Sti...

I had surgery last month to  my right hand. I had two problems, so I had two incisions. They hurt now! It seemed they were healing well, but now they are red and extremely sensitive to touch. The physical therapist I see twice a week said the tenderness is part of the healing process. If only they would be less tender! This morning I said to myself, "Self! This is a metaphor for another form of tenderness." I use to take insults and criticism quite seriously. They hurt, and sometimes took a long time to heal -- if ever. The Big Book, therapy, and other helpful resources taught me to let criticism go. If someone doesn't like me, so what? Plenty of others do. I don't have to sulk. I don't have to drink. To become less sensitive is to become less hurt. Once the scar tissue in my hand goes away, sensitivity will be gone too. Likewise, negativity directed toward me doesn't hurt any more. I have become desensitized. And having learned that lesson, I no longe...

I hope this series of blog posts will enable you to recognize some symptoms of relapse. I meant well and tried hard, but I kept relapsing anyway. There was often a nagging little voice telling me to go ahead and try a drink. Maybe this series of blog posts will help you or a loved one break out of the relapse pattern sooner and easier than I did. Terence T. Gorski, co-author of  Staying Sober , identified 11 phases of relapse in his book Staying Sober ( https://www.amazon.com/Terence-T.-Gorski/e/B001JSA9K8 ). I hope you will find this series helpful enough to review again and again -- at once or in parts. An idea might be to checkmark symptoms in the 11 phases to see if you or a loved one is in danger of relapsing. Then take action. Gorski's research involved 118 recovering patients who had four things in common: They completed a 21- or 28-day rehab program; They recognized they could never again safely use alcohol; They intended to remain sober forever through A.A. and out...