Corking the Bottle

Cindy said something at A.A. that I thought was very perceptive. She usually goes on about her health, her daughter, and her mother. This goes to show it pays to always be listening or some valuable gem might remain unearthed. "I feel sorry for people out there who don't drink," Cindy said, "because it's so much harder for them to find themselves." Hey, I was lost for a long time and didn't even know it. I probably still would be wandering among the tall weeds if I hadn't found God, and thus myself, as I sobered from drinking. Working the Twelve Steps was eye-opening. I think most important to me were the Fourth Step and Fifth Step. I made a moral inventory of myself, looking deep inside of me to identify my shortcomings. Then I admitted to myself, to God, and to another human being (my sponsor) those wrongs I identified in Step Four. I still work on my flaws. Before, I didn't recognize those flaws, so how the heck was I supposed to imp...

I have been looking today to identify my best self and my toxic self. This comes from an episode of Dr. Phil yesterday. It strikes me as a different way of doing Step 4: "Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves." Life Coach Mike Bayer was on the show. He told two mom/sisters, "When you're your best self, you're being your authentic self, so our best authentic self. The anti-self is the characteristics that we think get in the way of being our best self." ( https://www.drphil.com/videos/life-coach-mike-bayer-explains-how-your-best-self-and-anti-self-affect-your-daily-life/ ) In other words, what are the messages you tell yourself about you? He had them list their authentic selves, draw a picture of what that might look like, then give it a name. Then they did the same for their toxic selves. Watch the video. Bayer wrote a book called,  Best Self: Be You Only Better . ( https://www.coachmikebayer.com/book ) It isn't about how to stay awa...

I was in Grove City, PA, visiting my mother, my sister, and her family the past two days. At lunch yesterday, my sister made the observation that I had been placed on a pedestal, and that made me judgemental. There was a time I would have bristled and denied her opinion. My mother's nods, anyway, added umph to her statement. I never thought I was on any pedestal. But my healing from alcoholism did make me acknowledge in Step 4 that I was full of myself, and I found characteristics in many others that I judged to make them inferior. Yes, I'm afraid I have been judgemental. My sister and mother agreed that I'm not as bad at that as I used to. I hope that is so. The 12 Steps made me come to the realization that everyone is just like me; none better, none inferior. Praise God for turning my alcoholism into positive acknowledgements of my old self. I turn my character defects over to God. Make me a better person.

Yesterday's A.A. Reflection said, in part, "Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory." Step 4 of A.A.'s 12 Steps tells us to "make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Step 10 tells us to continually "take personal inventory and when we (are) wrong, promptly (admit) it." If we leave our dirty dishes in the sink all night, they will still need washed tomorrow. If we ignore them again, they keep piling up, and the spaghetti sauce from three days ago becomes dry and harder to clean off. You may be surprised to know that "procrastination" is a four-letter word. So clean those dishes each day. Don't go to bed without taking an honest inventory of your day, and admit your wrongs. Writing down your inventory at bedtime might be helpful to you. Don't allow your kitchen sink to spill over into tomorrow. See how much better you will feel.