Corking the Bottle

Comments at the A.A. meeting I attended Thursday night got me to thinking about the coronavirus and how it might be particularly hazardous to us alcoholics. For example, I used to be an impulse drinker. Even though I was trying to stop, I could find excuses to buy another bottle. The coronavirus seems like a good excuse to people who may be like I was. "What the heck. I might get sick. I might be quarantined. I might choose on my own to stay home away from people. So I might as well stock up with whiskey and drink my way through the pandemic." My Thursday meeting was poorly attended. It might have been the storms in the area at the same time. Maybe people were staying away from others to avoid illness. What I do know is that a week ago we had more at that meeting than ever before. I hear many alcoholics say they have to go to A.A. to stay well-grounded and sober. What will happen to such people if others stop going? More likely, what if churches where some meetings a...

Dottie celebrated 12 years of sobriety this week at A.A. She has been an inspiration to me many times. She said Monday, "I'm supposed to give it away. I don't know what IT is or where IT is, so if I give IT away, it's an accident." Your friends at your birthday answered your question. You have it. And you have given it to many. Elbert Hubbard wrote, "The love we give away is the only love we keep." Someone else once observed, "Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back." In my mind, I can't give away sobriety if I don't have it to give. My purpose is to stay sober and share the gift of sobriety with others. That's why I write this blog. I have IT. And I'm giving IT to you if you will take it.

This week I celebrated nine months of sobriety as I received my purple chip at my A.A. home group. Today I met with my counselor for the first time in several months. I enjoyed telling her about my abstinence success. Life is good again! The Ninth Step Promises really do come true.

This weekend I was left home alone. Sadly, no burglars tried to get in, but I had a great booby-trapping scheme worked out just in case. My wife took her mother and our older daughter to home-town Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, for our niece's baby shower. I was all alone with money! Enough for two large bottles of cheap hooch or one bottle of the good stuff. The money is still in my wallet. That wouldn't have happened in the past. In a few minutes, I am leaving to watch the #4 Louisville women's basketball team play Pitt. I haven't missed a game so far. In every other season, I was too drunk to go to a few of the games. This feels so good! Trust me on this one. Sobriety changes one's life if that one hasn't experienced it in a long time. I am glad I was trusted to stay at home alone. And I am glad to be able to go to the game today. Go Cards!

Sobriety for me has become more than not drinking. It means becoming a better person and being a quiet supporter of others. I really am a better person than I ever have been before; all fact, no brag, as my high school friends used to say. I am "willing to turn the past to good account . We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets." (The Big Book, page 124.) Working the 12 steps helped me get in better touch with myself. That meant recognizing my character defects and, with God's help, understanding myself and, thus, understanding others. This has brought me a joyous life instead of mere happiness, which comes then fades. The Big Book continues, "Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have -- the key to life and happiness ('joy')...."

Thanksgiving came and went with 12 inlaws and two babies in my house for two days. I had a wonderful time: lots of laughs, lots of updates about our lives, lots of good food, lots of memories. I am thankful that I celebrated Thanksgiving completely sober. I can't remember last Thanksgiving. I don't remember drinking, but I must have been and that's why I can't remember. What a waste! What a loss! I expect next Thanksgiving to be able to remember this Thanksgiving. And I expect I will remember, as long as I stay sober, one day at a time. God, I give thanks for my sobriety.

Milestones are important markers that tell us how far we have come. "Milestones were originally stone obelisks -- made from granite, marble, or whatever local stone was available -- and later concrete posts. They were widely used by Roman Empire road builders and were an important part of any Roman road"  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milestone#Roman_Empire We recognize milestones along our road to recovery. Thursday, my friend Judy celebrated her 11-year milestone. This week I made it to six months. At last, I got my blue chip! But only six months? Judy celebrated her own six months before she could  make it to 11 years, so I am inspired to keep working my program. Six months is highly significant to me on my never-ending road to sobriety. It marks the farthest I have ever traveled without slips and relapses ever since I first suspected I had a problem with alcohol. My milestone tells me how far I have come -- one day and one mile at a time.

It is more blessed to give than to receive. That's a boring old cliche, but it is still the truth. When I was a child, all that mattered at Christmas was what Santa had brought me . Birthdays were even better because it was me and me only receiving gifts from people who loved me. As an adult, I once had a friend who gave me a vase, just because he saw it and thought of me. I pretended to be grateful, but it was butt-ugly. I knew from the name on the box where he had bought it, so a few days later I exchanged it for a set of towels, which I needed and were more practical. My friend came over a couple months later. I didn't think of the vase or the towels until he asked me where I was displaying his kind gift. My face got hot. My voice failed me. Do I make up a lie or tell him the truth? I stammered around until I told the truth about what I had done with the vase he had picked out and paid for, just for me . I could tell his feelings were hurt, We made small talk briefly...

A Photo of Sobriety What on earth am I talking about with this picture, you ask. It's a shot of the front of my house. The lawn looks a little bleached out, the landscaping is hard to see, and birds at the first-year birdfeeder are impossible to see. So what makes this a picture of my sobriety? In past summers, when I was drinking off and on, I didn't care what the yard looked like. I worked on it -- sometimes -- mowed -- sometimes -- and watered the tomato plants -- rarely. At times I mowed during and after drinking, and other times I was unable. I claimed I was sick or something and left the chore up to my wife when she got home from work and the day's weather was at its hottest. This week, I trimmed with the electric trimmer and mowed with the handle broken on the mower, making the job even harder. But I did it! I have done it all summer. My yard is a place of beauty compared to other summers. My arms and legs and cardio-vascular system are getting stronger. Ab...

I asked what drives your life. Rick Warren in  The Purpose-Driven Life  ( https://www.churchsource.com/rickwarren ) suggests four drivers that often distract us from what really  should  be driving our lives. Yesterday it was fear. Today: Materialism -- Some are led by a desire to acquire. So what? If I have many possessions won't that make me happy, feel important and more secure? Nope. "Possessions only provide temporary happiness. Because these things do not change, we eventually become bored with them and then want newer, bigger, better versions." Second, possessions don't make us more important. "Self-worth and net-worth are not the same." And third -- more secure? Material things can be lost by theft, flood, fire, or sometimes divorce. (You know if I'm talking to you .) "Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken from you -- your relationship with God." God is the way to sobriety!