"Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done" And Then the Words Get Tricky

(Reprinted from my blog post August 6, 2018)

We pray the Lord's prayer. We hold hands in a circle and repeat it after most A.A. meetings. We say it every Sunday in church. When I was little, we said it before each school day began. But did you ever notice that there's a catch to it?

Everything is asked straightforward: Give us our daily bread, don't lead us into temptation, deliver us from evil. Right in the middle is a scary action item for us, a do-this-for-me-and-I-will-do-this-for-you deal we make with God.

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

In the Presbyterian church where I grew up, we replace "trespasses" with "debts." It seems like Presbyterians are worried about money we owe and others owe us. Un-Presbyterians promise to obey God's "No Trespassing!" signs, the same as we allow others into our yards.  "Trespasses" and "debts" don't get to the main issue here.

Don't we really mean, "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us"? Ah, but here's the rub! We ask God to forgive our sins, but only -- but only! -- if we forgive all the schmucks that sin against us. I take that to mean anyone who robs us, cheats us, punches us, calls us bad names, makes fun of our mothers, cuts us off in traffic, rapes our daughters, molests young boys, sells drugs at our workplaces, rolls their eyes at us.... You can think of more.

But we pray to God, "I want and need your forgiveness, but only as much as I am willing to forgive other people." That can be a heavy burden around our necks. I struggle to forgive the hoods who broke into our house a few years ago and stole my wife's jewelry, most of which had only sentimental value. Her great-grandma's necklace and Kathy's engagement ring are gone. Forever. The two perpetrators were caught and sent to jail and ordered to pay restitution. But no restitution can ever replace her stolen wedding ring.

God says I have to forgive them. In essence, I tell God  in the prayer he gave us not to forgive me unless I can forgive the burglars. It's hard, but I must do it. I have created far worse sins against God. I'm sorry, God, for all those things I did while drunk and sober. Forgive me, just as I forgive those sinners who broke the lock on my back door.

In A.A.'s Step 7, we humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings. We take it further in Step 8 when we list everyone we have harmed. Then in Step 9, we put ourselves out there and make amends to all those people, unless doing so will injure them or others.

I guess I simply have to do it. I have to forgive others, just the same as I want God to forgive me. I need to realize that God loves those burglars just as much as He loves Mother Teresa. He expects me to do the same. So I forgive you guys, and ask that God turns your lives around, just as He has done for me when he steered me away from alcohol.