Addicts Believe the Next Time Will Be Better Than Now

According to Dr. Gabor Maté in his book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, "The addict dreads and abhors  the present moment. They bend feverishly only toward the next time, the moment when the brain, infused with the drug of choice, will briefly experience itself as liberated...." (https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/) 

I can identify with that. I won't say I abhorred the present moment, but I sure wasn't living in it. My enemy was "now;" my hope was to somehow return to the past and start over. But that was impossible, so I tried to make my hurt go away by drinking.

Clearly that just made me more miserable. The downward spiral continued until I was able to find the real me again.

I'm grateful to God that the real me is much better than the old me or the drunk me. I am learning about myself and others in my new world of sobriety.