I Need to Know What Blew Out My Engine
(Reprinted from my blog post August 7, 2018)
Excuse me, but I disagree with something. In the book Staying Sober -- A Guide for Relapse Prevention, by Terrence Gorski and Merlene Miller, the authors seem to be saying that why we drink doesn't matter. Just attack the problem itself.
"Searching for the cause of an addiction (such as emotional or family problems) is usually nonproductive. Treatment that recognizes the addiction as a primary condition rather than a symptom of something else, has been found to be most effective." (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/293618.Staying_Sober)
My symptom is alcoholism. The disease is self-centeredness, unfulfilled dreams, regrets, and other character defects. As I work through my character defects, I will eliminate the resulting symptom.
Let me draw an analogy. My car started going kerlunk kerlunk kertwottle. I couldn't solve the problem unless I knew the cause. Well, I never would figure out the cause unless I took it to an expert. The mechanic looked, diagnosed, and fiddled with the engine. At last, he said my whatsit needed replaced. Once he found a new part, my car would be purring. $237.59 later, he was right.
My drinking is a parallel story. Understanding my addiction helps me control it. In my case, staying away from people imbibing didn't help. Hating myself didn't help. Counseling and A.A. helped, but I continued to relapse nonetheless.
One of my "mechanics" -- I'll call her Leslie (because that really is her name) -- talked me through my relapses and helped me identify a pattern. I often drank before and after trips to visit family, weekends during football season, and daytimes when I was used to being at my job. I realized it was my happy past and boring present that led me to relapse. Leslie taught me techniques and referred me to readings designed to help me live in the moment.
Living in the past was senseless, I learned, because nothing, good or bad, could be relived or unlived. That doesn't mean killing my memories, That's what I tried to do with alcohol. Instead, I can reminisce about good times and people who have passed from this lifetime. But I don't live back then. I let those times go so I could stop missing new good times. I live for this moment, because that's all I've got. That's all any of us got.
Staying Sober has many good points I can agree with. Here is one: "A life that includes wholesome living, uplifting relationships, commitment to values outside of oneself, and spiritual growth supports long-term health and sobriety."
Excuse me, but I disagree with something. In the book Staying Sober -- A Guide for Relapse Prevention, by Terrence Gorski and Merlene Miller, the authors seem to be saying that why we drink doesn't matter. Just attack the problem itself.
"Searching for the cause of an addiction (such as emotional or family problems) is usually nonproductive. Treatment that recognizes the addiction as a primary condition rather than a symptom of something else, has been found to be most effective." (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/293618.Staying_Sober)
My symptom is alcoholism. The disease is self-centeredness, unfulfilled dreams, regrets, and other character defects. As I work through my character defects, I will eliminate the resulting symptom.Let me draw an analogy. My car started going kerlunk kerlunk kertwottle. I couldn't solve the problem unless I knew the cause. Well, I never would figure out the cause unless I took it to an expert. The mechanic looked, diagnosed, and fiddled with the engine. At last, he said my whatsit needed replaced. Once he found a new part, my car would be purring. $237.59 later, he was right.
My drinking is a parallel story. Understanding my addiction helps me control it. In my case, staying away from people imbibing didn't help. Hating myself didn't help. Counseling and A.A. helped, but I continued to relapse nonetheless.
One of my "mechanics" -- I'll call her Leslie (because that really is her name) -- talked me through my relapses and helped me identify a pattern. I often drank before and after trips to visit family, weekends during football season, and daytimes when I was used to being at my job. I realized it was my happy past and boring present that led me to relapse. Leslie taught me techniques and referred me to readings designed to help me live in the moment.
Living in the past was senseless, I learned, because nothing, good or bad, could be relived or unlived. That doesn't mean killing my memories, That's what I tried to do with alcohol. Instead, I can reminisce about good times and people who have passed from this lifetime. But I don't live back then. I let those times go so I could stop missing new good times. I live for this moment, because that's all I've got. That's all any of us got.
Staying Sober has many good points I can agree with. Here is one: "A life that includes wholesome living, uplifting relationships, commitment to values outside of oneself, and spiritual growth supports long-term health and sobriety."
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