How To Build Sand Castles Without a Beach
(First published July 3, 2018)
I was about to lose my job in 2004. My friend, confidant, and sister-in-law (rolled into one) must have sensed a high-pressure system and impending rainstorm. She told me I should go sit on a beach until I find the real Dan again.
Of course I didn't take her advice."We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not (Big Book, page 58)." At that point, I hadn't hit bottom yet and so was still frantically digging my hole.
Today, I find the old Dan is no more. It turns out the hole he was digging was his own grave. But from all the depression, DUIs, fender benders, and blackouts arose a new Dan. I seriously have never felt like this my entire life. I feel no stress. I am empowered. I am in control of my life. I discovered true joy. I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to "the care of God as we understood him." Further, I made a moral inventory of myself and "was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character" and then humbly asked Him to do so. (Steps 3, 4, 6, and 7).
I still wish I had gone and lost myself on some beach. But the new me was born from the debris I was hanging onto. I substituted A.A. meeting rooms and therapy for that beach. And now I'm a whole new me. I am grateful to God.
I was about to lose my job in 2004. My friend, confidant, and sister-in-law (rolled into one) must have sensed a high-pressure system and impending rainstorm. She told me I should go sit on a beach until I find the real Dan again.
Of course I didn't take her advice."We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not (Big Book, page 58)." At that point, I hadn't hit bottom yet and so was still frantically digging my hole.Today, I find the old Dan is no more. It turns out the hole he was digging was his own grave. But from all the depression, DUIs, fender benders, and blackouts arose a new Dan. I seriously have never felt like this my entire life. I feel no stress. I am empowered. I am in control of my life. I discovered true joy. I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to "the care of God as we understood him." Further, I made a moral inventory of myself and "was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character" and then humbly asked Him to do so. (Steps 3, 4, 6, and 7).
I still wish I had gone and lost myself on some beach. But the new me was born from the debris I was hanging onto. I substituted A.A. meeting rooms and therapy for that beach. And now I'm a whole new me. I am grateful to God.
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