Who Opened the Trap Door On My Stage?
[First published May 30, 2018]
All the world's a stage, according to Shakespeare. Oscar Wilde said it more accurately with, "The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast." I have a leading role, I'm afraid. And as an alcoholic, I find the world's actually four stages.
The stages of alcoholism are spelled out at http://www.addictioncampuses.com/blog/the-4-stages-of-alcoholism-for-the-functioning-alcoholic/. I will go through the stages and my experience in each.
Stage 1: Occasional alcohol abuse and binge drinking -- I drank once in a while. No problem, eh? I drank too much on weekends when I was home alone and my wife worked. If I had no place to go, I was fine drinking and sleeping my way through dull days.
Stage 2: Increased drinking as a coping mechanism -- After I was laid off from my job of 16 years, I filled my time tutoring, working for a consulting firm, and drinking in between. This was my depressed period. I denied to myself and those close to me that I was depressed or that I was self-medicating with alcohol. I knew alcohol was a depressant and was contributing to my depression. But without a drink (or three or five) now and then, my inner conversations dragged me down. I earned my vodka.
Stage 3: The consequences of problem drinking start to show -- I was fired from tutoring because I was suspected of showing up drunk. They were so stupid. No one could tell I was drinking, I told myself. I was facilitator for an industrial/community committee. I called in "sick" at the last minute a few times, lost the minutes one month, and got a letter that my performance had slipped and I was being replaced. That cost me a nice check every month. They hired the wife of the plant manager who had sent me the pink slip. Ha! He just wanted his wife to make all that money. There was really nothing wrong with me.
Stage 4: Noticeable physical and psychological changes -- I was still in denial, even though my longer stretches of sobriety led people to tell me I was looking good. I tended to slack off of my exercising when I was drinking, or when wishing I were. I get a physical every year, and all my body parts were still functioning normally, I have been told annually. But I could feel myself losing my balance and lacking coordination, even during my dry spells.
"No matter what stage of alcoholism someone is currently experiencing," the aforementioned web page concludes, "there is still hope to get through their alcohol addiction. Medically supervised detox followed by an inpatient treatment program can increase the likelihood of successful recovery and help people regain control."
The stages of alcoholism are spelled out at http://www.addictioncampuses.com/blog/the-4-stages-of-alcoholism-for-the-functioning-alcoholic/. I will go through the stages and my experience in each.
Stage 2: Increased drinking as a coping mechanism -- After I was laid off from my job of 16 years, I filled my time tutoring, working for a consulting firm, and drinking in between. This was my depressed period. I denied to myself and those close to me that I was depressed or that I was self-medicating with alcohol. I knew alcohol was a depressant and was contributing to my depression. But without a drink (or three or five) now and then, my inner conversations dragged me down. I earned my vodka.
Stage 3: The consequences of problem drinking start to show -- I was fired from tutoring because I was suspected of showing up drunk. They were so stupid. No one could tell I was drinking, I told myself. I was facilitator for an industrial/community committee. I called in "sick" at the last minute a few times, lost the minutes one month, and got a letter that my performance had slipped and I was being replaced. That cost me a nice check every month. They hired the wife of the plant manager who had sent me the pink slip. Ha! He just wanted his wife to make all that money. There was really nothing wrong with me.
Stage 4: Noticeable physical and psychological changes -- I was still in denial, even though my longer stretches of sobriety led people to tell me I was looking good. I tended to slack off of my exercising when I was drinking, or when wishing I were. I get a physical every year, and all my body parts were still functioning normally, I have been told annually. But I could feel myself losing my balance and lacking coordination, even during my dry spells.
"No matter what stage of alcoholism someone is currently experiencing," the aforementioned web page concludes, "there is still hope to get through their alcohol addiction. Medically supervised detox followed by an inpatient treatment program can increase the likelihood of successful recovery and help people regain control."
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