This Is My Story, And I'm Sticking to It

The following is the first post on this blog. I am repeating it because it explains how I started abusing alcohol and how I am recovering one day at a time.

I am an unusual drunk. I never drank as a kid. As a young and middle-aged adult, I drank socially; yeah, sometimes too much, but I wasn't thinking about my next drink afterward.

I had a wonderful childhood raised by teetotalling parents who loved each other and taught me to love. I was a straight-A student. I decided in high school to become a journalist and took advantage of writing opportunities in and outside of school. I landed a part-time sports writing job at our county newspaper. This led to a full-paid scholarship based on writing ability. I graduated a year early, got a job as news bureau manager in my mother's hometown where I still had lots of relatives, and jumped into work even before my commencement exercises.

I married my childhood sweetheart at the same time I started a public relations job, where my salary doubled overnight. A feature story I wrote led me into marathon running, and I ran dozens of races through the next decades. While in college, I volunteered one summer on an Indian reservation in Idaho and fell in love with the Northwest. One day I wrote to a PR director in Boise, got a job interview the same week, and was offered a job on the spot.

That job was awful, so after six months I wrote to another corporation in Boise that happened to be looking for a writer. I got the job and more money. I later had two splendid daughters (who are still splendid as adults) and an active family life, often camping and hiking in the mountains.

I could go on, but I think that's enough to show I had a Midas touch. If something didn't work out for me, something better came along. That's the way life's supposed to be, I thought. We wanted to move closer to home in Pennsylvania in 1989, and sure enough, I landed my best job ever, in Louisville, which was. driving distance from "home." I worked at that company for 16 years.

Then the wheels came off. I was laid off on the day, almost, of my 50th birthday. Several would-be employers turned me down for jobs, some after interviews and some without responding to me. Even fast-food joints weren't interested. I lived off my 401K and my wife's income from working the zoo gift shop. Cripes, we had been making six figures!

My marriage felt strained and intimacy became a fond memory. My older daughter falsely accused me of getting too friendly in the volunteer work I had been doing with kids and she quit speaking to me. I killed the youth program I had created. I had arthroscopic knee surgery, which pretty much ended my running career. I started gaining weight. My beard turned white. I denied my depression for a long time before I got help from my doctor. But the mood-altering pills didn't work well enough. Alcohol worked better.

My drinking increased. My thoughts were of poor, pitiful me. There seemed to be no solution. The good life was over. My wife was ready to leave me.

I got two DUIs. I was fined heavily, lost my license, and placed on in-home incarceration. I was hospitalized twice with alcohol poisoning. I ignored the hospital social worker's talk about A.A. At my wife's urging (i.e., nagging), I finally entered a local rehab outpatient program.

I have done that and lots more to end my addiction, which I will write about in future posts. All worked, but only for a little while. I started into A.A. Sometimes I went to therapy and A.A. meetings a little bit drunk. I got kicked out of two group programs.

I am three whole months sober as I repost this today, August 2. But I have found God and made spirituality part of my life and my path to wellness. So there is still hope for me. I feel strongly God led me to start this blog. It is intended to help other suffering relapsers like me, and ultimately lead me to a sober life.

Please post comments, questions, and advice from your own experiences. May God give you strength to get well and do His will.